Stoogeville

It was while taking notes about methane gas, I noticed a reference to the ministry of environment as MOE, and just that fast Larry and Curly solidified the image.
Let's delve shall we, into the past, where (by the way) fossil fuels belong. Back to when Moe & Co were at their peak. At their backhanding,nose twisting, eye poking, whoop whooping finest.
Now, if Moe is the brains of this here environment, who plays the cohort ? Clearly Curly bears a striking resemblance to the Oil & Gas Commission, for although a stooge, can instantly invent hair brained notions to be sold quickly then abandoned when the plans meet reality.
Certainly not least we have Larry. Good old Larry. He's the vital stooge, without him it'd just be two clowns in the street duking it out. Larry brings defensive skills to the dance. We learn to block the double eye poke with the slick nose salute. He's got the stamina too, he can go on for ages. That kind of an act has needs. Big ones. Just ask him, he'll tell you.
So, here comes Larry,...a strolling along a nice country road. He spies an apple tree just beyond that fence with the private property sign. It's a good thing Larry's literate, that way he can claim he thought the 'fence' was private property. A simple little communication error.
Unfortunately Larry's also a klutz and face-plants off the fence into a fresh, warm, cow pie. The trace of methane nearly draws his attention away, but he's hungry and takes all he can carry from the apple tree.
Moe and Curly meet up with Larry as he tries to nonchalantly hide his haul. Moe bops Curly on top of his head. Curly twists Larry's nose. Larry pokes Moe in the eye then blocks Moe's two pronged retaliation.......
(Cue the circus music)
The next act may be historic in nature. See, Curly has been a cohort for so long he's never said no. Ever. Just look at the way Larry abuses then cajoles Curly into compliance. There's big pie in the sky dreams and promises of wealth, prestige & power.
Curly's heard it all before though, he's tired and sore from all the unfavourable attention. Maybe, just maybe Curly can make a decent decision and save himself from the constant aggravation. If he does it will be just as historic as the oil & gas commission denying a contract.
And so it goes in the industry world. Crazy, old fashioned ideas dealing exclusively with fossil fuel. If they ever decide to upgrade into our 21st century, maybe we'll see an improvement in character as well. How bad could it be?
Cory and Trevor come to mind....
It's 2010 now and Curly is in his office hard at work. He has been a busy stooge in a busy season. Contrary to his previous bumbling and connivance, this time he's really landed a whopper. Curly's bedfellow this time is British Petroleum. The same BP presently heading the daily news. This time it's more than a bop on the head and an eye poke. This is a maelstrom of treacherous deceit.
Curly's plea of "private land' and "already logged" rings like dreaded late nite call. You just know it's bad news.
Curly is slicker this time and consults with Larry too. Larry explains the art of distraction & demonstrates by waving one hand then slapping Moe & Curly with the other.
"A distraction!" cries Moe.
"Where!?" Curly says.
Bob, slap, kick.
Curly begins to pay attention and while rubbing his cranium mutters.."well, we did ignore a province wide first nations moratorium."
"Perfect" Larry says. "Let's give em something"
"Uh, Larry" Moe butts in, "68% of Canadian reserves don't even have potable water..."
"Poifect" Curly enthuses.
"Let's get em that."
"Not my water."
"Somebody Else's."
"But who...."
Larry spies a globe in the corner, the stooges spin and choose.
"Australia" they chorus.
"Right" Larry confirms. "They're so crazy down there it's illegal not to capture water.""Who'll pay for the shipping?" asked Curly with his brightest notion of the day.
"Leave that to me" Moe asserts. "After all, I'm with government."


Please note that the Gulf of Mexico is not only leaking oil. This is also the worst methane escape in modern human history. BP is doing it's best to go after the methane in this province at the expense of every living thing that requires water for life. The attention ought to be shared by everyone.
Canada provides one fifth of the worlds fresh water supply. The world ought to have a say on how we treat their water